Recent E-mail to Aunt MB
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Subject: From Clarissa to Aunt MB
From: laclarice@shadango.com
To: bakenberger@hotmail.com
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Dear MB,

I hope you don't mind that I hunted down your e-mail address, but I have a
lot I want to say to you.

I thought that maybe it was about time that I thanked you for your open
support. I guess I've been pretty unresponsive, but as you can imagine
there's a lot to think about. I just wanted you to know that I really
appreciate both letters you've sent us. It meant a lot to me to know that
at least one of Gary's family members, aside from Mia, is able to
understand that this baby is not their financial burden and hopefully you
know that all I want for this baby to have is a family that loves her. I
just wish I knew of a way to make everyone understand that the only people
that I am asking to help me are Dennis and Julie and I've only asked for
their help because it was offered to me.

Things have been pretty tough for me over the past couple of weeks.
There's a lot of pressure for Gary and I to work everything out with all
the family folks out here, but I just don't know how to go about doing
that. I want to be open with everyone and I want to establish a good
relationship with everyone who wants to have one with my daughter and me
because they are her family. I really want everyone to be involved in a
positive way, but it's really hard to talk to people when all they seem to
want to do is criticize us for what we have and haven't done so far.

Right now I feel very attacked by everyone because I feel like everyone is
forming their opinions and expectations of me based on how they feel about
Gary. But just because I am Gary's girlfriend and just because I am
bringing a child into this world with him doesn't mean that I am any less
my own person with my own goals and expectations for my future. And
that's what I am focusing on now.

The other day I learned a very valuable lesson and that was that I won't
be able to take care of a child unless I am able to take care of myself.
That doesn't mean that I don't want Gary to be a part of our future. It
just means that I feel like I should start working on how I am going to
support myself and my child and, if he wants to, Gary is more than welcome
to work his future plans into mine. But I realized that I have to start
looking after myself because as much as I love him, Gary might not always
be there, but my daughter will.

I just wish there was a way I could let everyone know that regardless of
what Gary is doing now, starting this week I have decided to work on at
least getting MY shit together. I've decided to focus on planning out MY
future because as a mother I feel like I need to achieve personal
independence because there may be a time when I don't have anyone.

I hope you don't think my decision to start looking after myself is
selfish, but being that you're a woman and a mother too, I figured you
would understand where I was coming from. I love your nephew with all my
heart, but I feel like it's in the best interest of my daughter and myself
to start planning my own future so that no matter what she at least has me
to depend on.

I'm sorry if this is too lengthy or if you feel like I've given you more
insight than you wanted, but one of my goals is to start establishing
working relationships with everyone and I thought I would start with you
since you've been the most supportive.

I also wanted you to know that I am very interested in some of your baby
gear. A lot of people have offered hand-me-downs, but I believe that the
stuff you've offered us is probably the best quality and in the best shape
that hand-me-downs can be. I have plans on buying a brand new infant car
seat because the car seat is what will protect my daughter's life in the
car and I think that a car seat is one thing I should purchase brand new
if only for peace of mind. But crib, front pack, slings, etc, are some
things that would really come in handy so please let me know how I can go
about acquiring these things from you.

Also, I have always thought that Audrey was a very beautiful name, but
unfortunately it also makes me think about giant man-eating plants. =)

Please feel free to write me back soon because I would love to hear from
you. Thanks again for everything.

Love,
Clarissa